I was recently asked what i think being a friend means.
This is what i think it means.

A friend is someone you can rely on but don't depend on.

A friend is someone who you can tell anything to.

A friend is someone who will listen when you have something to say.

A friend is someone who will look out for you.

A friend is someone who will not take advantage of your friendship.

A friend is someone who will stand up for you when you fall down.

Most importantly a friend is someone who will stand up to you
when what your doing is wrong.


And that got me thinking,
theres only two Three people in my whole life that fit that
description.

What an interesting thought

Sooooo there's this girl. She's like the nicest person ever but she can be mean when she wants. I don't know what it is about her but she is amazing. She's the strongest person I have ever met, her life seems so rough yet she goes on, I admire her for that. Now a question, is it love I feel for her? Is it type of love you feel for someone that is like family to you? Or is it the type of love you feel for someone you want to go out with? Why don't I know? And if I did know what would I do about it?

Either way, i'm going to take her advise. I'm not going to do anything till i'm sure.

Crazy Comic

In spite of halloween I have made this shitty comic...
What do you think?

Wow...What fun

So I did have this big post planned out and everything but meh, I'll post it some other day. Currently my bike is outta commission because the tire is popped so I cant do ANY biking. BIKING=MY LIFE. So yea its really sad, and I don't have any thing to repair it with so I'm waiting on my mother to buy me a tire repair kit. So yeah that's what's going on...FUCK! I hate not having a bike, it fucking sucks! Oh well I'll live...Hopefully.

So...That's cool.

Ellery and Libby came over last night, it was pretty cool! First we watched the Brothers Grimm, Its an okay movie but ive deffinatly seen better, then we went for a little walk down my road and Ellery and Libby were like terrified of the dark, it was amusing. When we came back inside we watched some crazy movie called Clockstoppers and bout a quarter way through it Ellery went on the computer and then bout half way through the movie Libby cuddled with me. Then after that movie we pretty much just talked and played on the computer till they got picked up. After they left i pretty much just sat on the computer till like midnight then went to bed, what fun. xP

Well last night was rad

Well last night some friends came over and we watched a movie, the movie was like one big drug trip, and I cuddled with libby(yay cuddling is good) and like we talked to ellery on the phone(yay) and then celine and kyle were all like making out and it was a lil disturbing. kay ya I dont have much to say except that friends=good. =D

I think everyone should all be friends and then we will watch the movie thats like one big drug trip. XD

WTF

What the hell is going on with me?! First i practicly isolate myself at school friday and today i'm a total ass. Arg! fuckfuckfuck! I wish i knew because i really dont want to be mean to any of my friends. I don't even know what the hell is making me do it! whats really pissing me off though is the questions i'm getting! "Whats bothering you so much?" and "Are you upset, mad, what?" I DON'T KNOW SO LEAVE ME ALONE! i dont like being like this but...WTF! i'm fucking paranoid! i Can't even trust the people i love! what the hell is going on!? IDEA! i need a huge big ass fucking hug! hugs solve everything! And if that dosnt work then i dont know...maybe i'll just completly isolate myself for the next few days...

"Is this for real or some kind of Hell?"

EVERYTHING! It's COMPLETELY POINTLESS! how do I know this isn't a dream?! How do I know my friends are real? How do I know they don't talk behind my back? What's real? No matter what anyone says I wont believe them, nothing is real. What happened to that sweet kid who never thought of life as a dream? What happened to the child that didn't care about real and not real? The one who only believed as his imagination told him? He was never sad...Why have I replaced that sweet child who could never think anything bad? Why me?! I'm the worst it fucking gets! People may not agree with me but they don't know that part of me...The part that spits in disgust at everything and everyone, the part that thinks its better then anyone, the part that wishes everyone would just DIE! Why cant that part leave me? Just leave me and let me die. But no, it has to stay or I would just give up...Its the only thing that keeps me going sometimes. No one ever said life was fair, and its not, but why? Why can't I just die? Why can't everyone just leave me alone? Why can't I just let fear take over? Why can't I fight the ones I so long to hurt? Why can't I tell everyone to leave me alone?

Because without All of them, that part of me that drives me forward would die. And to kill that part of myself is harder then any task. My final question: Is all the pain and suffering worth the little bit of happiness I get out of life?

Well today went alright, started off really shitty though. I'm happy though cause i got to see Caitlin and Ethan and they are pretty damn cool. Also its friday, the most wonderful day of the week =D So all in all, everything went fine, no one got hurt(that i know of), no one ran off crying(yet). I think today may just be one of those days that everything works out in the end.

Hmm...interesting

Today was wierd, first off, Libby was dressed like all cute like and she hated it, she even had her mohawk down! Even more interesting! I am learning about birth control in health and career edu! Its so amazing. XD After that I wrote a really cool thing for english and its all awesome and better then you would ever do...cept not really. Then at lunch I was like walking all over and I ran into this girl from my S.S. class and like i'm starting to get to know her, she seems pretty cool. From there on everything gets fairly boring. Oh! I also talked to Jon's older sister, Alexis, on the bus, she is pretty damn cool, we disscussed how she should cut jon's hair! Yep and that just leads to now, me sitting on the computer telling you about my day. :D

Well Today was fun filled xP

Well Today was a fun filled day. First i spent hours on the computer. xP Yep deffinatly fun. Then i had lunch, WHOA! SO AMAZING! XD and finally i went swimming with my litte brother. notice how i didnt talk to a single one of my friends? exactly! i wonder why NONE of them were online and the one i called didnt answer the phone. Course she could have just not wanted to talk to me cause like shes got caller I.D. Yepyep, i'm totally amazing, i'm making assumptions about the person who saved me from myself. cause you know thats totally the stupidest thing to do. If it wasnt for her i may not be writing this, either that or i would have a very deep gash in my arm, thankfully she helped me. Gotta love the one who makes you happy, even if its practicly impossible for us to go out, she still saved me and i will be eternaly in debt to her. What she did was what very few people tend to do, She listened to me and let me cry and she never thought any less of me. aww fuck...why the hell am i talking about this. Well ya, thats how my day went, boring but i did learn how to make my dive even better so i guess today wasnt a complete loss.